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• 07/09/2024

  Hello…I had a pretty good day! In the morning I went to a walk and it was so cold and nice, I would say if was even too cold…which is so beautiful, autumn and winter reminds me a lot of last year and how much it has changed for me, and so little at the same time. I remember being with my partner at that time and starting to feeling like I wasn’t being appreciated enough in that relationship, and how hurt I spent all of those months. Right now I am feeling the same sensation of love and hope for the future that I had when I was dating her, even though we broke up a while ago…I don’t know, I guess I am still learning to stand up for myself and talk about my feelings, and that is something I learned from that relationship. Something that reminded all of this was about a friend I made a while ago, she and I connected very well and I thought we could be really good friends and I got excited cause it soooo hard for me to make friends specially on the internet! We starting planning movie nights and gaming nights and it was very nice…but after a while I started to notice a pattern of only watching or doing something related to her interests, and everytime I tried to propose something or talk about something that I cared about, it redirected towards something that she liked, which made kinda frustrated, cause is she was my ex used to do with me and most of my significant relationships! I spend my whole life thinking that I was maybe being to passive about my personality and the things that I liked, so it was natural that people around me redirected everything towards their interests, but I also noticed that even when I try to actively do it, I get dismissed. It’s something that I can’t really know how to get manage yet, I am triying to be honest about my feelings but I am also afraid that, I become the center of attention, I won’t have anything to say or show, so maybe it’s not worth for anyone to listen to me!! :D uuuuh? Idk honestly, I am honestly very happy it’s just something that has been itching my brain I guess…

  20/07/2024